


The Voyage to You

by Takianna



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M, olicity - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-08-22 11:13:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 14,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16596788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Takianna/pseuds/Takianna
Summary: Felicity Smoak didn’t want a complicated life. She enjoyed helping people as a nurse at Starling City General Hospital and spending time with her best friend Sara. When a John Doe arrives on the fifth floor of the hospital, she finds herself being dragged into a world of mysterious oaths and visions. The only thing she can hope is to stay strong enough to resist the man who has traveled to find her.





	1. Chapter 1

Felicity pulled her badge out and swiped it in front of the door, waiting for the resounding click of the lock. Juggling the two large coffee cups in her hands, she managed to pull the door open and step inside without spilling the hot liquid down the front of her scrubs. Walking down the corridor, she turned the corner to the small security desk nestled in the corner of the main lobby that looked far to small for the man occupying it.

“Felicity," she heard the familiar voice and smiled at the large security guard sitting at the station looking at her with anticipation. 

"John," she said cheerfully. Sitting down one of the coffee cups, she shoved her badge back in her pocket and smiled at him. John Diggle was her oldest friend at Starling City General and in the city for that matter. He was the first person that she met when she came home after studying to be a nurse.

“I told you to stop spoiling me,” he said and took the cup, gulping greedily. Felicity knew that he had been trying to stop drinking it, but she couldn't help but bring him one in the morning. The things men did for the women they loved. Felicity hoped to find someone like that one day, but was coming up short lately. Her love life was groan worthy and not in a good way.

"I didn't listen," she laughed pushing the thought of her terrible dating life out of her head. “How is Lyla?"

John's expression soured for a moment as a large hand rub the back of his neck. If she didn't know better, Felicity would think he was nervous. New fathers usually were anxious, but John had seen combat and Felicity couldn't believe a baby would cause his fear to rise.

"About to pop," he said. "She's been cranky this week."

“All normal," Felicity said and patted his other arm trying to reassure him. "That baby will be here in no time."

"I hope so," he sighed.

"I'll see you later, " she said and turned to leave. "Keep me posted on baby Diggle."

With a wave, Felicity headed up the back corridor to the service elevator that would take her up to the fifth floor where she had been working the past year with her best friend. Hopefully the day would be uneventful, but she knew it was always surprising when working with the public.

The elevator doors slid open and Felicity stepped out. Sara, the night shift nurse and her best friend, was busy at the station finishing up paperwork. Felicity locked her bag in the cabinet and then plopped down next to the other woman to get the dirt on how the night went.

"Busy night? " she asked watching Sara finish up the chart in front of her.

"Mostly the same," Sara said with a smile. "Except for the one in room 5001. He came in late last night. "

Felicity saw something flitter across Sara's face that seem like she was plotting, but it disappeared too quickly to pinpoint. She felt a shiver run up her spine, but ignored it. Sara was always trying to set her up with someone. It got tiring, but Sara only wanted the best for Felicity. She knew that her friend worried

"Who is in there?" Felicity ask thumbing open the room assignment chart. The name read John Doe. Great someone who didn't know who they were or they weren't awake enough to tell anyone. Just what she needed this morning and she thought it would be an easy day. No it never worked out that way for Felicity.

“So unknown?" Felicity asked trying to keep the irritation out of her voice. " How drugged is he? Wait, do I even want to know?"

Sara shook her head indicating John Doe was wide awake and Felicity probably didn’t want to know. Being awake was unusual for someone admitted to her floor and something just didn't sit right with her about the man in 5001. Why would he be in the hospital? What had happened to him? It was too much to think about this early in the morning and before her full first cup of coffee. 

"You aren't going to tell me anything about him, are you? " she finally asked exasperation seeping into her words. Sara was so stubborn sometimes.

"I think you should get busy with your day," Sara said pushing away from the desk and smiling. " See you tonight. Have fun.”

Felicity sighed and pulled her pad from the charging station. Logging in, she went through the charts of her patients for the day, stopping to go over John Doe's carefully. There had to be a reason he was here. She just needed to figure it out.

There was little information besides vitals taken throughout the night and observations of the staff. Doctor Merlyn merely noted the patient looked to be in good health despite extensive scarring on the torso. That didn't sound like someone who needed medical attention if he injuries were scarred.

Felicity strode with purpose towards the door, announcing herself with a small knock to indicate she was there. Hearing no answer, she pushed the door open to begin her rounds for the day. Standing at the window was a tall man, hair cropped short to his head. He wore only scrub pants and never turned to see who was entering the room. His hands fisting at his side was the only indication that he knew she was there. He seemed to see without looking directly at her.

"I'm Felicity, the day nurse, " she said. " I need to take your vitals. "

There was no movement by him as she spoke. Great he was going to be a pain in the ass. She really wasn't in the mood when she had others to take care of this morning.

"Could you please sit on the bed? " Felicity asked trying to keep her calm. It was too early to start flying off the handle.

Without a word he turned and piercing blue eyes met hers. She felt her breath catch in her throat under his stare. He moved silently, as light as a cat, his eyes never leaving hers.

When he settled on the bed, she took out the blood pressure cuff and put it around his bulging bicep. Whoever he was, he was in top physical shape.

Felicity quickly ran through the vitals and notated everything on her tablet. Putting away all of the equipment, she looked up to see those. It felt uncomfortable to be under his gaze and she nervously noted all the vitals on the erase board on the wall, her hand shaking slightly.

"If you need anything just let me know, " she said preparing to leave. The slight nod of his head was the only movement he made to even acknowledge her.

Felicity left the room, leaning against the door as she tried to gain her composure. She had work to do.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank to everyone for the GREAT comments on this story. It really makes my heart smile. You don't know how much it keeps me writing to hear this story has touched others. 
> 
> Now that November is over (NANO) I should be updating more frequently. 
> 
> Let me know what you think. I love to hear speculation and your commennnts are my life blood. 
> 
> Anyone willing to do some great art, or a great vid for this story, I would love to hear from you. I'm dying to have a trailer.

The crash resounded through the ward and Felicity was moving quickly towards the sound as a loud voice began shouting in a foreign language. Thea, one of the nursing assistants, came flying out John Doe's room covered in what Felicity assumed was lunch. The girl looked frightened as she ran her fingers through her food covered dark hair.

“He just freaked out,” the younger woman said as Felicity grabbed her arm and pulled her away from the door. No one was going to act like an oversized baby on her floor, no matter what the circumstances were of their admission to the hospital. Felicity would put a stop to this immediately or he would feel her wrath. 

“Page Dr.Merlyn,” she instructed and moved through the door to find out exactly what his problem was at the moment. 

The floor was covered with various dishes and food splattered against the white utilitarian tile. Felicity stepped carefully around the splatters and found John Doe sitting on the floor, covered in what should have been his lunch. He seemed to not notice she was standing there. 

“Hey!” Felicity said and he jerked around to look at her, eyes wild. It seemed he wasn’t even the same man she met earlier. Gone was the control he possessed when she was taking his vitals. 

“You don’t act like that on my floor,” she said and stood in front of him, arms crossed over her chest to communicate just how serious she was about the rules she had for her patients. Just because he didn’t know who he was or speak the language, it didn’t give him a free ride. 

He opened his mouth and a long jumble of harsh words spilled out as he pointed at the mess he created. Whatever he was trying to communicate seemed rather important to him, although she had no clue what he was saying. His voice was emphatic as he finished the sentence and sat quietly looking at her.

“I don’t know what you are saying, but it doesn’t excuse your temper tantrum,” she said not budging from the spot where she stood glaring at him. She would not be intimidated even though his looked well battle worn and could probably kill her with his pinky.

He stopped and looked at her piecing together the whole scene. He became less agitated and settled, eyes returning to the ice blue stare he had previously. Felicity could see him soften, almost, under her stare.

“Smoak,” Dr. Merlyn said from the door, he was breathless as though he sprinted the whole length of the hospital to get to the room. Felicity grimaced knowing she had probably caught him trying to get busy with one of the interns in the closet. Tommy Merlyn was rather notorious around the hospital for his escaped with the opposite sex. 

The babbling started again as John Doe began pointing to her and then the doctor. He was asking questions from his tone, but neither one of them knew what they were about. Felicity felt helpless because she couldn’t communicate with him. 

“He is talking?” the doctor asked as he came fully into the room, his eyes flashing surprise.

“I think he’s upset,” Felicity said. “Can we find a translator?”

“Nyssa would be our best bet,” Merlyn said turning and heading out of the room towards the nurse’s station.

“Smoak?” the voice was quiet, but firm and Felicity turned to see the unknown man peering at her with the ice blue stare again. The wildness might be gone, but still there was something haunted about the way he looked at her. She wanted to slink away under his stare. Standing strong, Felicity said nothing, only returned the stare. If he could speak, she didn’t want to stop him from attempting to talk to her. 

“Smoak?” he asked again, his voice stronger this time. 

“I’m Felicity Smoak,” she said quietly, afraid he would run away if she spoke too loudly. There was something vulnerable about him as he spoke her name. She felt a pull in her heart when she looked at him. 

“Al-Sah Him,” he said tapping two fingers to his chest indicating himself.

“Al-Sah Him?” Felicity asked and the world stilled around them. All she could focus on was his piercing eyes that saw right through her and into her soul in that moment. They shared a moment and Felicity’s heart hammered in her chest. 

A curt nod was all she got in response to her question. 

“What has he said?” Nyssa said from behind her right shoulder, making Felicity jump. Nyssa was graceful and quiet like a jungle cat on the prowl and had a reputation for catching people off guard.

“I … I don’t know,” Felicity stuttered afraid to reveal the fact he had spoken his name. It felt too secret to share with others. It was something between only them and Felicity wanted to savor it for a moment in time.

Nyssa walked past her and stopped in front of the patient. Her words were steady and clear as she spoke in a language that seemed similar to his, but the man who called himself Al-Sah Him had a quizzical look on his face as he tried to decipher what she was saying to him. Felicity watched as he tried to figure out the words. 

After a moment a quiet string of words came from his mouth. Nyssa smiled and turned back to face Felicity, the triumph written on her face. 

“So?” Dr. Merlyn asked from the doorway. 

“He is speaking an ancient dialect, but he said he only requires broth during his meals. It possibly is a religious tennant,” she explained.

“That’s it?” Merlyn asked with an indignant tone. 

“These things take time doctor,” Nyssa said giving him a look that would kill weaker men. Nyssa was notorious for not putting up with the sexism that was prevalent in the medical world. Felicity heard stories about her kicking a surgeon in the family jewels. If it wasn’t true, Nyssa never denied it and it made most of the doctors wary of her. 

“Just page me when you find out something of use about his injuries and why he’s here,” Merlyn said and turned away from the door leaving the two women alone with the patient.

Nyssa turned to Felicity and gave her a once over that felt as though she was prying into Felicity’s mind. She felt uncomfortable under the woman’s stare, but tried to act confident, straightening her spine against a shiver that threatened to run through her 

“He told you something,” the tall brunette said, her eyes unblinking as she waited for an answer.

“Al-Sah Him,” Felicity responded before she could stop her voice. Damn her ramblings under pressure. They always gave away too much.

“The arrow,” Nyssa said considering the man. “Interesting.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone still reading. I hope you enjoy this update.
> 
> Please leave a comment and let me know what you think.

Felicity sat at the nurse’s station finishing her charts for the day. She had fallen behind with carting because John Doe was needy and there was something so mysterious about him that Felicity couldn't help but check in on him frequently. Sara strode in with a huge smile plastered to her face and plopped down in the chair next to her, swinging her feet up on the workstation as though she didn’t have a care in the world. Felicity was sure she didn't with her confidence and the way everything seemed to go Sara's way no matter how bad it looked. 

“So you’ve met our mystery man?” the blonde smirked, mischief filling her words and flitting across her face. Felicity really wasn't in the mood for this today. Her nerves were shot from the way John Doe seemed to see through her into her soul. Something always made her feel on edge where he was concerned. 

“Yes,” Felicity replied not looking up from her charts to acknowledge the other woman because she wasn't ready to make eye contact with the person who knew her better than anyone in the world. She just knew Sara would see right through her and know there was something brewing with him.

“What do you think?”

Felicity sighed and turned to look at her friend, unable to avoid the inevitable moment when Sara would see through her. What could she say about the mystery locked behind those blue eyes he possessed? It was unnerving and yet still so alluring. 

“I can’t believe you,” she finally hissed at her friend. “Only you would try to set me up with someone who shows up on our floor. There has to be something wrong with him if they are keeping him here. You know that right?”

Sara clicked her tongue and smiled. Felicity either wanted to slap her or hug her. It was a draw at the moment and Felicity tried to breathe to make the feelings go away.

“He’s perfect,” Sara said eyes going dreamy. “That body may have seen some bad things, but it's so right in all the good ways.”

“He's perfectly crazy,” Felicity said and returned to her charts because she just wanted to get out of there and away from those eyes. 

“Has he talked?” Sara asked raising an inquisitive eyebrow at Felicity. There it was that moment when Sara was seeing exactly what was happening inside of Felicity's mind as she struggled with the way she was beginning to feel about John Doe. 

“A little,” she said noncommittally. It was best not to get into what John Doe had said to her until the meaning was clearer. There was no reason to drag more people with opinions about what John Doe meant when he talked to her. Felicity was already feeling the heat from Nyssa and that was uncomfortable enough. 

“Well that is a good step,” Sara sighed as though she was still thinking about John Doe's body. Felicity pushed away from the desk and rubbed a hand over her face. There was something about that man she couldn’t shake and she wasn't sure she wanted to shake him. 

The buzzer sounded and Felicity saw it was from his room. Not what she needed at the moment, but she was still his nurse for a few more minutes. She gathered her thoughts and tried to compose herself for the interaction with those eyes. 

“You want me to get that?” Sara asked as she rolled up to the desk and signed into the computer. Felicity felt a pang of jealousy at how quickly Sara wanted to help him. That was a strange feeling. Felicity shook her head and pushed the feeling away. She had no claim on him, no matter how many times she had interacted with him during the day. 

“I’ll take care of it,” Felicity replied picking up her pad to take with her. 

“Fe-li-city,” the voice was loud and stilted. Sara turned and gave her a look as she walked towards the stranger’s room. She didn’t need her best friend gloating, but something inside of her felt warm at the way he was calling for her specifically. 

Pushing the door open, Felicity say him standing n the middle of the room, eyes wild and distress contorting his face. His eyes were not soft like she had seen them so many other times that day and it frightened her a little, making her heartbeat a little more quickly in her chest. 

'Hey, it’s OK,” she said trying to calm him. She reached and turned off the call button and then turned to face him.That seemed to placate him, but his mouth struggled as though trying to form words. She watched him struggled and felt her heart pinch for him. It must be difficult to remember a language he hadn't used in years. 

“Just take a minute,” Felicity encouraged. He stopped and licked his lips, Felicity let her eyes linger too long on them as she watched his tongue jut out and wet them again. He smiled as he caught her watching and tried again to speak. 

“O …” was the first thing he said. He stopped as though the sound shocked him. Felicity just smiled as though she was encouraging him to continue. 

“Oliver,” he finally said quietly. The name was like a whispered prayer and Felicity wondered if he had really spoken at all or she had imagined it. The look on his face indicated he had said it out loud. OK they were making some progress if he remembered someone from his past. That was a good thing and would make identifying him a little easier for everyone involved. 

“You want me to call Oliver?” she asked trying to judge his reaction. A strangled expression crossed his face as he shook his head no. 

“Oliver,” he said pointing to himself. She watched as his finger brushed against his chest and something tingled inside of her, but she tried to push the feeling away. There was no time for this and it would only lead her to trouble. 

“You’re Oliver?” Felicity asked excitement filing her words. The smile that spread across his features reached into his eyes and she drank in the sight of true happiness. She liked the look on him and could feel a smile spread across her lips. 

“Wait,” she said biting her bottom lip as she thought. “Who is Al-Sah Him?”

His hand pointed to his chest and confusion furrowed his brow. Maybe this was too much questioning for him, but she needed to figure everything out so she could pass the information along. If he had family in Starling, they needed to be informed and maybe his memory was still a little foggy. 

“You are both?” 

A nod in agreement was all she got in return. He was a man of few words when it came to her and it was exciting in a way. 

“I don’t understand,” Felicity admitted. He tilted his head and looked at her as though he was considering his next words carefully.

“I. Am. Oliver. Queen,” he said more sure of his words this time, his voice strong in the otherwise silent room. 

“Oh my God,” Felicity said taking a step back from him as though he was too hot to be near. It felt as though the world was changing and tilting under her feet. His eyes searched her face and a look of distress passed through his eyes. Felicity tried to calm herself, but in the light of his admission it was difficult. 

Oliver Queen was lost at sea twenty years earlier. He had been proclaimed dead ten years earlier in a public ceremony and now he was standing in the hospital with a wing named in his memory. 

His eyes were inquisitive as he looked at her expression trying to figure out what he had said to make her react the way she had. 

“You are supposed to be dead,” she said quietly. “We can’t tell anyone about this yet. They will make your life into a media circus.”

A string of foreign words spilled from his mouth as he gestured around the room and pointed from himself to her. It was all too much for Felicity's head as it swam from the revelation.

“Wait … “ Felicity said holding up a hand to silence him. quickly he closed his mouth and stood silently looking at her. She needed time to think, but she felt as though that time was growing short. Someone would find out and they wouldn’t be able to stop the avalanche that happened afterwards. It would be too hard to reverse whatever happened in the next few hours if she didn't take control of it now. 

“Do you want people to know?” she asked trying to judge his feelings by his body language. He nodded yes. 

'Let me call the doctor,” Felicity said reaching for the phone. His hand reached out and gripped hers firmly, stopping her in mid air. His touch was intoxicating and she shivered. 

“Mother,” he said quietly. It wasn’t a question, but more of a demand. Felicity sighed and put the phone down. Only someone who was dead could make such decisions and demands. She had to respect what he wanted, but it would also jeopardize the job she worked so hard to get in the first place.

“You want to see your mom?” she asked. It was something she felt she couldn't deny him. He was dead and his mother was still grieving for a man who was now standing in front of her. She was torn, but her heart was heavy with the thought of the reunion she could help facilitate. 

Oliver nodded.

“This is going to be complicated.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the wonderful comments. I love all the support and cherish every single one of you as readers.
> 
> Take the time to enjoy this chapter and let me know what you think!

To say the house was a mansion was putting it lightly in all forms. Felicity had spent the better part of the afternoon getting up enough courage to drive to the Queen estate. Now standing at the gate, she wondered what she would even say that wouldn't make her sound like a lunatic. 

"Frak!" she said under her breath as she paced. It wasn't like she could just ask to speak to the Queen matriarch without an appointment. If it was that easy, it wouldn't be making Felicity sick to her stomach. 

What would she even say? By the way, I found your dead son. Yeah, that sounded really great and completely like she was whacked out of her mind. Felicity was sure they would call security right away and cart her off to the nearest mental hospital for that statement. Or worse, they would have her arrested for trespassing. This was not good. She really didn't need this when she was just getting herself on the right track. 

"Frak!" she said again and stopped pacing to look at the call button. It was mocking her with its glowing light. It was as though it was laughing at every single thought going through her mind. It just sat there waiting for her to make the biggest mistake of her life by pushing it. 

Rubbing a hand over her face, she couldn't understand how someone who barely spoke talked her into this plan. It wasn't like he was eloquent like a poet. He could say about two words, but still here she was doing what he asked her to do with that one word...mother.

But if she was a mother, she would want to know if her child were alive no matter what form the messenger took. There was no question Felicity needed to tell them, but her courage seemed to be hiding. She wasn't meant for this kind of confrontation. She was a caregiver, not someone who waltzed into people's lives and turned them completely upside down, which was what she would do if she pushed the button and summoned the Queen family. 

She just had to do it and stop thinking. Thinking got her in trouble, not that pushing the button wouldn't. Overthinking was making her a coward and now was the time to be brave for Oliver. He was brave for coming back to Starling City and she just needed to be as brave.

Felicity reached out a shaky hand and pushed the button, turning it red to signal there was no changing her mind and no turning back now. This was it and she would have to face the consequences, no matter what they were. 

"May I help you?" A rough male voice asked. She almost shrieked and ran away, but took a deep breath and tried to calm her nerves enough that she wouldn't run screaming down the drive, making more people think she was a lunatic then was necessary at this point. 

"I have a message for Mrs. Queen," Felicity said, voice wavering at just the mention of the woman's name. 

"Do you have an appointment?"

"No."

"What is the message pertaining to?"

"I would like to disclose that to her alone," Felicity said feeling bold. There was silence from the other end. Frak, she might have really messed this one up and they were busy on another line calling the police to come and get her. 

"Again, what is this pertaining to?" The voice sounded frustrated as though this was another person in a long line of people just trying to gain access to the family. She was sure it wasn't an easy job to be a gatekeeper for a family that seemed to have it all.

"Her son," Felicity relented and let out a sigh. There was more silence and then the gate clicked open and began to grind along on the ground as it retracted to admit her.

"Drive up the front drive and someone will escort you from there to meet Mrs. Queen," the voice said and then the speaker clicked off indicating the conversation was over. 

Shaking, Felicity got back into her car and drove slowly up the drive. As the home came into view, she felt a lump rise in her throat. It was too late to turn back now, but that was what she wanted to do more than anything. 

"Frak," she said and gripped the steering wheel too tightly, turning her knuckles white against the strain. This moment would change lives forever. She couldn't help feeling as though she should have dressed a little more appropriately for the occasion, but it was too late to change now.

When she pulled in front of the house, a younger dark haired man in a suit stood waiting for her. Shutting off the car, Felicity tried to calm the terror threatening to strangle her insides.The man approached and opened the door. She stepped tentatively from the car not sure her legs would even carry her, let alone hold her weight at the moment. 

"Your phone please," he said holding a hand out to her as though he expected her to comply with no questions. 

"What?" she asked shocked and gripping her phone a little more tightly. 

"No recording devices," he said as an explanation. Rolling her eyes Felicity handed her phone to him. Rich people were strange and she didn't want to jeopardize her chance to talk to Mrs. Queen because she wanted to hang on to her phone. That would be something they would talk about later, when the moment was right.

"This way please," he said motioning for her to follow.

The main entrance was framed with two staircases. It screamed old money with the use of opulent wood and furnishings. To Felicity it was like the set of a Lifetime movie and not something you would raise a family in. She may have grown up in a small apartment, but at least it felt more homey than this large estate. 

"This way," the young man said directing her to a sitting room outfitted in neutral colors. Felicity wasn't sure if it was to set people at ease before they hung you out to dry or just the color scheme of the whole house. 

"Mrs. Queen will join you momentarily," the guard said and the turned to leave. She was alone.

Felicity stood in the middle of the room, unsure whether she should sit or wait for instructions. Nervously, she picked at the hem of her oversized sweater. Yeah, she was definitely underdressed for everything.

"Sorry to keep you waiting," a gentle voice said from the door and Felicity turned to see Mrs. Moira Queen gently gliding into the room. She oozed well breed from the top of her perfect head of hair to the bottom of her tasteful pumps.

Felicity's breath hitched and her heart beat against her ribs a little more quickly. This had been a terrible idea and Felicity wanted to vanish, but it was too late. This was the moment Oliver had asked her to make happen. She couldn't back out now. 

"Please have a seat Miss ...," the matriarch's voice trailed off recognizing that there had been no formal introductions made. 

"Smoak," Felicity said somehow finding her voice. She sat in the chair Mrs. Queen indicated and tried not to fidget. That was proving to be rather difficult under the watchful eyes of such a powerful woman who seemed to have manners from the moment she was born. 

"The guards tell me you wanted to speak to me about my son," Mrs. Queen said getting straight to the point. 

"Yes," Felicity said licking her lips. Where did she start about the resurrection of Oliver Queen to the one person who knew him better than anyone else?

"You know Oliver has been missing since he was a child," Moira continued indicating that if Felicity was there for monetary gain, it was never going to fool her. 

"Would you know him if you saw him now?" Felicity asked rushing through the words as though they were too much for her to hold inside. 

"Excuse me?" the older woman asked as though she was offended.

"Could you recognize him?" Felicity asked again trying to clarify that she was completely truthful about what she was asking the other woman.

"A mother will always know her child, no matter the years that separate them," Moira said, a touch of sadness in her words.

"My phone," Felicity said looking around for the man she had given her phone to earlier and not seeing him. 

"Roy," Moira said to an unseen person. The young man appeared in the doorway as though he developed right out of the wall.

"Yes Mrs. Queen," he said.

"Can you please give this young lady her phone?"

The young security guard obliged and produced her phone from the pocket of his suit jacket. Felicity took it and opened the screen, scrolling through the photos. She stopped on a recent snapshot and handed the phone to the other woman. 

"Oliver," Moira whispered and for a moment her mask slipped from matriarch of a powerful family to a mother who missed her child desperately.

"Where was this taken?" the older woman asked, her eyes never leaving the photo as though it wouldn't be true if she looked away for mere seconds.

"Starling Memorial Hospital," Felicity said shakily, the gravity of the moment weighing on her.

"Roy bring the car around," Moira said.


	5. Chapter 5

Felicity sat nervously in the back seat of the black town car as it sped towards the hospital. She knew a Queen visiting the facility would bring attention, but there was no stopping Mrs. Queen now. The avalanche had begun and Felicity knew she would be buried beneath it. As they got closer to the hospital, Felicity could feel her heart pounding against her ribs. 

"Can you get us in through a back door?" Moira asked breaking the eerie silence surrounding them.

"Yes," Felicity said holding up her badge and then awkwardly put it back in her pocket. The silence resumed as Roy took the exit towards the hospital and Felicity was sure her heart was going to beat straight out of her chest.

"Pull around to the side employee entrance," Felicity instructed, her voice shaking as the adrenaline in her body kicked in. She knew there wouldn't be many employees coming and going at this time of night based on the shifts they normally worked. 

The car stopped and Felicity exited with Moira close behind her. Quickly they entered and boarded the elevator. Felicity was breaking so many rules, but hoped it would be forgotten when Oliver Queen was found alive. Maybe she would be considered a hero for finding the son of one of the elite of the city.

The doors opened to a thankfully deserted hallway. Felicity led the way to Oliver's room, knocking gently before opening the door and ushering Mrs. Queen inside. When the door clicked closer, Felicity let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding. The sound of her breathing was the only thing in the room.

Oliver stood shirtless in the middle of the room regarding his mother. There was an edge to his features, but they softened as a smile spread across his face.

"Oliver," Moira said, the air rushing from her lungs in one word. He crossed the distance between them in two quick strides and embraced her tightly. Felicity saw his eyes glistening before he buried his face in Moira' neck, something he had probably dreamed about for years when he was alone.

The room was silent except for the muffled sounds of sobbing that Felicity knew where coming from Oliver. A moment twenty years in the making made tears spring to Felicity's eyes and she wiped them away with the sleeve of her sweater. Everyone didn't need to be a mess in this room.

"Thank you Miss Smoak," Moira said straightening herself. "If you could leave me with my son."

Oliver stopped and looked from one woman to the other. He shook his head indicating he didn't agree with her. "No," he said forcefully.

"Oliver," Moira started in a motherly tone, but Oliver moved between them. Felicity could tell the hard edge was back from the look in his eyes. Oliver didn't do well when someone was telling in what to do.

"It's OK," Felicity said to Oliver trying to calm him, but she could see the desperation buried in his eyes. Moira's words had ignited a fire in him that made his eyes burn an icy blue.

All she got in return was him shaking his head at her words. She didn't know if he was afraid or just needed Felicity as something calming and familiar. He had only been back a few days and she thought he was probably clinging to her because she represented safety.

"Felicity," Oliver said his voice pleading, begging her to stay. 

"I'll stay," she said quietly and his features relaxed, eyes softening to her and the ice thawed from his stare.

"Where are you been?" Moira asked regarding him and Felicity could tell she was cataloging every scar on his body. There were so many and she knew there was a story that went along with every one, but Felicity knew she needed to give Oliver time before he could face those memories.

Oliver was silent to his mother's questions.

"He doesn't speak much yet," Felicity explained "Well he speaks some form of Arabic rather well, but it may are some time for his English to come back. He hasn't used it in a little while."

Felicity stopped. She was babbling again. It was a product of the nerves she felt growing in her belly. She couldn't shake the feeling she had broken too many rules and the punishment was going to mean changing her life again.

"Oh Oliver," Moira said the caring mother returning to her features. Oliver smiled a tender smile at his mother and then looked back to Felicity as though to thank her.

"We have to get you out. Of here," his mother said. Oliver shook his head with vehemence and punctuated it with a string of foreign words.

"I don't understand," Moira said trying to calm her son, but he was agitated and stepped away from her, separating himself from both women.

"Monster," he said quietly and jabbed a finger roughly against his chest. 

"I doubt that," Moira said raising her hands to placate Oliver.

"Killer! Monster!" Oliver shouted, the wild eyes returning. Moira shrank away from him, fear crossing her features. Oliver looked repulsed at himself and turned away from his mother, looking out the window at the gleaming city below. 

This was going to take some time to mend and Felicity was sure hers was running out.


	6. Chapter 6

The outburst from Oliver attracted more attention then Felicity would have liked and now she found herself sitting in the administrator's office. He didn't look pleased with her at the moment, but Felicity knew she had done the right thing by reuniting Oliver with his mother. 

"What do you have to say for yourself Miss Smoak," he asked tapping his fingers on the glass top desk as though he was interrogating a criminal.

Felicity bit her bottom lip and thought about the question. There were too many good things about what she had done to worry about the consequences. Yes, she needed the job, but part of that job was compassionate care. She couldn't say she regretted delivering that care to this patient.

"Selflessness is something all nurses should show," she started."I believe I delivered that kind of care to Mr. Queen when I listened to his wishes."

"There are procedures in place for these situations and you didn't follow the rules," he said and sighed. "The Queens are huge benefactors of this hospital and you could have jeopardized funding."

So that was the main theme of this discussion? Well Felicity didn't give a frak about funding. All she cared about was Oliver and his care. He deserved better then life dealt him. She wanted to ease whatever fears he had about returning to Starling and a life that was different then the one he left.

"I would hate to stop your stream of funding," Felicity spat at him. "But this man has been missing for twenty years and I saw someone who was hurting, not his trust fund. I guess I am in the minority on that point."

"You broke confidentiality laws as well," he continued. "These are serious offenses that can't be overlooked."

Felicity sighed and rubbed her temples with the tips of her fingers. Of course there would be punishment, but she wasn't sure she was ready for the consequences. This job meant a lot to her and it was her fresh start. 

"Please turn in your badge," he said. "I'll haveJohn from security escort you to clean out your locker."

It was so final. Her future was somewhere else, if she could even get a job now. Things were clear, but she knew she had done the right thing for Oliver.

"No need for the escort," she said standing and pushing her badge across the desk to him. "I cleaned it out after my shift."

She turned to leave, defiant in her stance as she reached for the door. She was proud she was one step ahead of him at least.

"So this was premeditated?" he asked, his voice dripping with accusations that thankfully were left unsaid.

"Of course," she said turning to face him again. "Oliver asked for his mother and I delivered her to him. I thought hard about what I was doing and it was worth this job."

She walked out without looking back and ran smack into a hard chest, knocking the wind out of her lungs.

"Felicity," John said and steadied her before she fell backwards.

"Hi John," she said breathlessly.

"What happened?"

"I got fired for breaking confidentiality rules," she said brushing it off. "It was worth it."

"So it is him?" John asked. 

"As far as I know," she replied and shrugged.

"Do you need a ride home?" he asked smiling down at her.

"My car is at the Queen's estate,but I should be fine taking the bus."

John crossed his large arms over his chest and Felicity knew he wouldn't take no for an answer. Protectiveness was the man's middle name.

"I'll meet you out front," John said. Felicity nodded and headed towards the front entrance of the hospital.

"Miss Smoak," a voice called after her as she crossed the lobby. Turning Felicity saw Roy jogging towards her, suit jacket flapping as he ran. 

"Yes?" Felicity asked not stopping. 

"Mrs. Queen would like to speak with you," he said barely out of breath. Roy must be in pretty good shape.

"I'm just getting ready to leave, a good friend is waiting for me," she said crossing her arms over her chest as she stopped to look at the young man. It was made clear that Mrs. Queen hadn't wanted her around once she reunited with Oliver. Why should Felicity go out of her way now to speak to her?

"Just a minute is all I need," Mrs. Queen said catching up to them. Felicity waited, silently trying to calm her anger.

"Oliver will need care at home for some time as he gets back to a normal life," the older woman said. "He seems calmer around you so I would like you to come and stay wth him during his recovery."

"Do you feel sorry for me because you are part of the reason I lost my job?" Felicity asked her, words more anger filed then she intended them to be.

"I think you are good for my son's recovery and nothing more," Mrs. Queen said, her voice never changing due to Felicity's outburst. "I'm willing to pay you $100,000 for you time."

Felicity felt her anger dissipate. With that amount, she could take her time finding employment once her time with the Queens was done. She could be picky about where she worked and maybe get a referral in the process.

"Can I think about it?" she asked knowing Sara would be her first call. Sara always gave her great advice and Felicity could use some good advice.

"Oliver won't be released until he clears a few psychological tests tomorrow, so you should have some time," Mrs. Queen said eyeing her. "Give Roy your number and I will contact you with the details of his arrival home."

"Thank you," Felicity said and watched her walk away. The sound of John's horn made her start as she thought about all the things that had happened.

Oliver Queen had shaken her life apart, but he had also put it back together, if she accepted the job.


	7. Chapter 7

"You would be out of your mind not to take it," Sara confirmed over the phone the next day. All Felicity could do s sigh in agreement. It was the same conclusion she had come to after spending most of the night not sleeping. 

There was no getting around the fact that acting as Oliver's private nurse was a lucrative offer. Still there was so much doubt about working directly under Moira Queen. The woman pretended she liked Felicity, but maybe it was to get what she wanted. Plus she knew little about Oliver's true mental stability. The outburst he had when his mother wanted to take him home just scratched the surface of what could be violent tendencies. What if he was too much for her to handle? She didn't have many skills in physical combat and could end up getting hurt rather badly if things went wrong. 

"I know his past can be frightening, but you should be able to handle him," Sara seas as though she was aware of Felicity's thoughts. "You worked the psych ward for to years and you've seen a lot of disturbed people."

"And I left because it was too hard to deal with all of those emotions," Felicity reminded her. Those two years had almost torn her apart on the inside, along with the injuries she sustained from violent outbursts of her patients. 

"This is one, not five at a time,"Sara said."Also all the best psychiatrists money can buy will beguiling his treatment. He'll probably be so drugged up that it won't be possible for him to be physically violent."

True, but Felicity had taken several punches before from patient and it never was easy to deal with the constant turmoil. She didn't know how she would react on such a one-to-one basis. Things would be different because there would be no one to rescue her, no second shift to deliver her from a terrible day of trying to calm Oliver down. She would be it and Felicity wasn't sure she could handle that kind of pressure and emotional involvement.

What if she got too involved and it tore her into a million pieces?

Felicity shook her head to remove that thought from her mind. Oliver would be her patient, not a friend. She could take some mental health breaks when he was busy with his therapy. 

"Plus he's not some gross gutter rat that the SCPD brought in from the streets. He's got it where it counts, if you know what I mean, " Sara laughed.

"Not helping, Sara," Felicity said using her best snarl. She wasn't wrong though. There was something so engaging about Oliver, but Felicity had to push it aside. It wasn't right too think that way.

"When is he coming home?" Sara asked changing the subject before Felicity could admonish her further.

"Tomorrow," Felicity sighed. "I'm supposed to get settled this evening before he gets home."

"Can I come?" Sara asked as though she was a child standing in the middle of a store aisle begging for a new toy.

"Sara ..." Felicity started hoping to put an end to Sara's meddling. 

"I swear I'll be good," she interrupted before Felicity could turn her down.

"Fine, but I tell you to leave, you leave, no fighting," Felicity said laying the ground rules for the evening. She didn't want to cause a commotion when she was just beginning her employment with the Queen family. They were taking a chance and Felicity knew she would have to play by their rules or they would replace her without asking questions.

"We'll save the slumber party for later," Sara laughed triumphantly. Felicity was sure her best friend was pumping her fist in the air because she got what she wanted. Sara usually to what she wanted.

"I'll pick you up at 7:30," Felicity said before hitting the off button to end the call. She didn't want to wait around for Sara to gloat even more. 

She spent several hours packing clothes and other essential items. There was the blanket her grandmother made for her, several pictures of friends and her teddy bear from childhood. Those were the must haves if she was leaving home for some time. Felicity wasn't leaving her apartment permanently, but she anted to have all the things she needed to make herself feel comfortable. She hated change, but really there was no choice for her. This was an important opportunity that might lead to something bigger in the future. 

After lugging six large suitcases and four smaller bags down to her car, Felicity headed towards Sara's townhouse. Her phone rang and Felicity picked it up sure Sara was on the other end.

"Keep your pants on, I'm almost there," Felicity huffed through the hands free.

"Miss Smoak," he line was a man's. Felicity bit her lip knowing she should really think about how she answered the phone. Her professionalism was important if she was going to get referrals from the Queen family for future projects. 

"Sorry," she mumbled feeling the heat rise in her cheeks from embarrassment.

"This is Roy. Oliver is refusing to finish the final evaluation and keeps calling for you. He is agitated and having difficulty calming down. The staff is threatening to have him sedated so that he doesn't pose a threat to himself of anyone else."

Felicity pulled into the nearest driveway and turned back in the direction that would get her to the hospital. Agitation was not good when he was trying to get himself out of the hospital. They would take that into account and she needed to diffuse the situation before the staff deemed him in need of sedation.

"Lower the lights in his room and tell him I'm on my way," Felicity said. "If his mother is there try to keep her out of his room because it might add to his agitation."

"OK," Roy said and she could hear the relief in his voice that she was coming to rescue Oliver from whatever demon was tormenting him. The staff needed to stand down for a few minutes so Felicity could calm him down enough to reason with him.She hoped they weren't already calling the doctor to get the order for sedation because she wasn't sure she could beat them. 

"About how far are you?" Roy followed up possibly trying to gauge how long he would need too hold the staff and Moira off before she could arrive. 

"Ten minutes if traffic is light," she replied and cut the call quickly. Dialing Sara, she explained the situation and Sara understood without asking a lot of questions that Felilcity didn't have time to answer. The traffic proved to be more then anticipated and it took her almost twenty-five minutes to get to the hospital and race to Oliver's room.

When she arrived at Oliver's room, Moira Queen was sitting in a chair next to his door. There were tear stains on her cheeks and it looked as though her eyes were red from hours of crying. Felicity couldn't understand what it would be like for a mother to know her son was so close and still so far away. It has to be tearing her heart into pieces 

"Felicity!" she heard Oliver's familiar voice call from inside the room. It was clear he had not calmed much in the last twenty-five minutes from the sound of his voice. 

Felicity reachEd to push the door open and Moira grabbed her other hand, the feeling desperate. Felicity looked at the older woman and recognized Oliver's desperate eyes as being shared by mother and son. Her eyes told a story of a mother who just wanted things to be better for her child and not being able to find a way to make it happen. 

"Please give me back my child," Moira said quietly, the words almost too faint to hear. "I've waited so long for him to come home to me."

Felicity took a deep breath and hoped she wouldn't break all their hearts


	8. Chapter 8

The room was dim and Felicity stopped inside the door and let her eyes adjust. Oliver sat on the end of his hospital bed looking somewhere between angry and scared. Felicity understood this was overwhelming when his previous circumstances were just a little more primitive, or at least she assumed they were from the few things she knew. In fact, she knew little about where he had been, but assumed this was a little more technologically advanced.

"You got everyone's attention Oliver," she said approaching him. Felicity was near him, but years of working on a psych ward taught her never to touch without permission and always stay at least far enough away from the patient to be able to step out of their grasp if their intention was to physically harm someone.

Quietly he studied her, his ice blue eyes taking in her features. Something about his study made her feel uncomfortable, but she tried not to fidget and make him more nervous. She wanted him to be comfortable with her and have a safe feeling when she was in his presence. It would be important for him to trust her while he was healing.

"Now why don't you want to do the final evaluation?" She asked trying to soothe him with the pitch and quietness of her voice. He needed the evaluation before he could be released with a treatment plan. This was the most important step of his discharge process and if his noncompliance ruined it, he would be stuck in the psych ward until they could complete the evaluation and begin a treatment regime. 

Oliver shrugged his shoulders and played with a thread on the blanket at the end of the bed. He was avoiding her and avoiding the question. Felicity wondered if he didn't want to face all the demons she was sure he was carrying around inside his soul. Learning about yourself was never easy, especially when you spent so many years avoiding all the things you had been forced to do.

"I was moving into your house to help you when you got home, but everyone panicked because you were calling me," Felicity explained. "They wanted to sedate you Oliver. I know you don't want that to happen. I know you want to stay in control of what is happening to you, but if you don't work with them, they will decide for you."

"Felicity," he whispered. She felt her heartbreaking. Everything about Oliver exuded strength from his muscles to the way he carried himself. She could tell he was scared. No one wanted to find out how mentally scarred they were. Oliver dreaded it even more because his was never his choice. Someone had twisted him and his mind could only adapt for survival. Felicity knew it was hard to face the things others did in the name of whatever God they believed in. 

"I am a monster," he finally said, his words flowing together a little more smoothly. It was good to know Oliver was evolving and coming back to the world he left behind. The progress was impressive in just the few short days that had passed.

"Monster or not, I am here to help you Oliver," she said. "If you finish the evaluation, you can go home. It's what you have waited twenty years to do. So let's do it."

Felicity giggled at the way the sentence came out of her mouth. Oliver looked at her and a small smirk crossed his lips. A sign he could still see the humor in life.

"OK not 'do it' but, oh shit, you know what I mean," she said throwing her hands up in the air. This had taken a strange turn and she didn't know how to get it back under control. Damn her babbling. 

"Scared," Oliver said getting serious again. The smile completely gone from his face. The light in his eyes darkened again after a brief flash of normalcy.

"You don't have to be scared," she said and rested a hand on the bed next to him. Oliver reached out and took her hand. It was a gentle and natural move for him, but Felicity tried to chalk it up to Oliver feeling vulnerable. There was nothing else she should read into his needs. She was stability and touching her calmed him. She, on the other hand, felt her pulse rise as he stroked the back of her knuckles with his thumb.

"We all get scared Oliver," she said as he continued to lightly rub the back of her hand.

"I was scared when you asked me to bring your mother here, but I did it because it was what was best for you," she continued.

Oliver nodded and looked at her, his eyes thoughtful as he kept rubbing small circles on the back of her hand. She felt a shiver rise in her spine as his touched lightened to almost a whisper. 

"This is what is best for you now," Felicity said. "Whatever is bothering you, let it go for now. We will stumble as you get better, but just take the first step. There is no where to go if you can't go home. You don't want to live in the hospital for the next six months because you couldn't take the first step."

Felicity never thought of herself as an inspirational person, but something about Oliver brought her need to nurture to the surface. She had always been compassionate, but Oliver made her want to do so much more and find him the help he needed. It wasn't pity, but admiration for all he survived to have his moment.

"Yes," Oliver said squeezing her hand and smiling. She was enamored by his eyes and they way they lit from the inside as though joy where burning inside them. She turned away before he could notice, feeling the blush rise in her cheeks. 

"Now," Felicity said and released his hand. "I'm going to let your nurse know you are ready for the evaluation."

Oliver took her hand again to stop her from walking to far away. He seemed to be clinging to her as though she was his only lifeline.

"Will Nyssa be joining you for the evaluation so you can give answers to the questions in a language you are more comfortable using?" Felicity asked trying to make sure he wouldn't get agitated trying to remember English words he hadn't used in two decades. 

"Yes," he said and looked down at their entwined hands as though studying the way the fit together.

"Oliver," she said getting his attention back on her. "I need to get everything moved into my room, so you are going to have to let go of my hand."

For a moment she saw disappointment pass over his features, but he composed his face quickly and released her hand. 

"I promise we will see each other tomorrow," Felicity whispered. Then she slipped quickly out of the room before those eyes could stop her from leaving his side.


	9. Chapter 9

"Thanks again Sara," Felicity said as they flopped on the large, plush, bed. It was a long walk from the car to the room Felicity would be staying while taking care of Oliver. The room in the opulent mansion was as big as her current apartment and furnished with some rather pricey furniture. She felt rather out of place among these types of people, but she was here for Oliver and not to be comfortable.

"So he was OK after he saw you today?" her best friend asked laying back on the plush bedspread and stretching her arms over her head as though she was taking everything in.

"Oliver admitted he was scared," Felicity said thoughtfully as she remembered the look in his eyes at the hospital. 

"That's a good first step," Sara said. "You said he keeps calling himself a monster, do you are any idea why?"

Felicity had been thinking about the reasons Oliver believed himself to be so dangerous. She knew nothing of where he had been all these years and with little ability to communicate, it was difficult to ask, not that he would offer her any answers at this point. She knew he was still guarded about the life he lived before his return. 

"It might have a lot to do with where he has been all this time," Felicity sighed. 

"That is a bridge he will need to cross in therapy and when he feels it is the right time," Sara replied as though reminding Felicity what her job would be. " Are you ready for the time it will take him to come to grips with the life that has been waiting on him?"

"I have to be ready," Felicity said sitting up to look around the room. Her bags were all over the floor nod she needed to unpack before she turned in for the night. Time was something Felicity had plenty of right now, but it was still a scary prospect to think she could be here for several years. 

"What are you not telling me?" Sara asked sitting up to look at Felicity. Damn Sara for being able to read her mind after all these years. 

"There is some sort of connection between Oliver and I," Felicity admitted. It felt so strange to say out loud. She would never lie to Sara, but Felicity wasn't sure what it felt like to her and it was difficult to pinpoint exactly what it meant. 

"Maybe Oliver is your soulmate," Sara said easily and smiled at her. Felicity wasn't sure she liked the look in her friend's eyes. There was always something mischievous about Sara, but it was a small coating on what she believed as the truth. 

"Soulmates?" Felicity said and rolled her eyes, although the idea had crossed her mind at least once since talking to Oliver earlier in the day, there was no way people actually still believed in that sort of thing.

"Why can't you believe in the magic of the universe?" Sara asked ad sighed as though Felicity was always too practical. 

"He's unstable, Sara," Felicity said and moved to the floor to start unpacking some of her things before it got much later. 

"Oh and every man you've ever dated has been super stable," Sara said. "At least his ex-girlfriends aren't hanging around town, blowing up his phone at all hours of the day."

Felicity gigged. Leave it to her best friend to think dating a man who had been missing for twenty years was an advantage and not something to run screaming away from as fast as she could. 

"You have to admit that is a plus," Sara said and joined Felicity on the floor to unpack the bags surrounding them. 

"I'm no admitting anything because I told you it was just a connection," Felicity said. She stacked her clothes in piles on the floor and Sara popped up to grab the hangers from the closet. 

"Still you should keep a open mind," Sara said.

"I'm here to help them carry out his treatment," Felicity said. "Nothing more then that, Sara."

Sara merely grunted and started hanging clothes in the closet. The silence between them grew and Felicity felt uncomfortable being left alone with her thoughts when she would be merely feet away from Oliver. Those thoughts were just too much to even approach when there was so much she didn't know about him. 

"Can we talk about something else?" Felicity asked and piled clothes into her drawers. She would worry about being neat a little later when she wasn't so tired.

"Sure," Sara said her voice muffled from inside the closet. Felicity was thankful to get on any topic other than the way Oliver made her feel. 

"They hired Daisy full time to take your place," Sara said as she emerged with more hangers for the rest of the clothes on the bed. 

"She still banging Merlyn?" Felicity asked.

"I heard he has been sleeping with Laurel pretty steadily," Sara replied.

"Could be a thing then that is a little more permanent?" Felicity asked and placed her picture frames on the dresser top. It wasn't home, but at least seeing the smiling faces of her friends made it feel a little warmer. 

"I hope so because Merlyn is such a pain in the ass when he doesn't get laid," Sara giggled and Felicity joined in. It felt good to laugh with her friend because things the past few days had been so heavy.

There was a knock at the door and Felicity shrugged as Sara's features questioned who was at the door.

"Come in," Felicity finally said. She hadn't been expecting anyone to even notice she was there, let alone stop by to greet her. She was just another member of the hired help and Felicity figured she would be treated as such.

Moira Queen entered the room and immediately made the room seem less important. She seemed to have that effect on everything around her, including Felicity.

"Mrs. Queen," Felicity said hiding a lacy pair of underwear behind her back. Felicity really should have thought about what she brought to wear at the mansion. She felt her cheeks burn, but Mrs. Queen didn't seem to notice. 

"Please Felicity," Moira said quietly, "call me Moira."

"Alright Moira," Felicity said feeling uncomfortable with using first names, but if Moira wanted to be less formal, Felicity could work with it.

"The room is to your liking?" The older woman asked gesturing at the space that was littered with bags and clothes from the move.

"It's great. Far more spacious then I thought when you told me I would be living here," Felicity said trying to stop herself from rambling by biting her bottom lip. 

"Who is your friend? Moira asked and turned her eyes to Sara.

"Sara," she said introducing herself and stepping forward offering her hand to Moira. The older woman shook Sara's hand, but looked at her with a wary expression. Everything that was happening, Moira was weighing towards he it would effect Oliver's recovery, including who Felicity was associating with during her time at the mansion.

"She is helping me unpack so I will be ready for Oliver's return home tomorrow," Felicity felt the need to explain.

"Yes, I didn't get to thank you for speaking to Oliver today," Moira said, the tone thankful.

"He just needed reassurance," Felicity said. "It will happen often in the next few weeks. It was nothing."

"It was amazing because he complied without question after you left," she finally said.

"No thanks needed. It is my job," Felicity said reminding herself as well as Moira.

"I will leave you to finish unpacking," she said moving towards the door. "If you need anything, please let the staff know." With those final words, Moira disappeared from the room and Felicity let out a long breath. 

"Wow," Sara said, "she is intense."

"Only when it comes to her family," Felicity said.


	10. Chapter 10

Oliver came home the next day. It was a quiet moment as he walked in and took in the home he left twenty years before. His eyes darted around as Felicity surmised he was cataloging the things that had changed about his boyhood home. She was sure it felt familiar and yet so different from the place he held so highly in his memories. Time tended to do that to us, no matter what our circumstances were.

She had spoken to the staff earlier in the day about not overwhelming Oliver or expecting too much from him upon his return. This was going to be strange for everyone until he was a little more acclimated to his home and the situation he found himself in presently. He would need to get settled, not only in his mind, but also with his new surroundings. 

Moira kept a close eye on her son as he investigated the foyer, stopping to look at several pictures as he made his way inside. Oliver hadn't asked about his father yet and Felicity feared his reaction would be intense when he was finally informed of Mr. Queen's death the previous year. How would he feel knowing he had missed his father by mere months?

That was something to worry about when Oliver began asking questions. They would deal with it together and try to make sense of everything when the time came. Too much too soon could be even more damaging to his fragile state of mind.

"Let's get you settled in your room," Moira said, taking Oliver by the arm and leading the small group up the enormous staircase to the second floor. 

Felicity had been in Oliver's room earlier that day to make sure anything upsetting would be removed. All the remnants of his childhood had been cleared, within reason. Moira had replaced them with more mature belongings. Felicity hoped he didn't find it upsetting. She wasn't sure how he would feel about not seeing the room he left all those years ago. It was not the idealized memory she was sure he carried with him in those dark times. 

Oliver pushed the door open and stepped into the room Felicity was sure he dreamed of while being away. She wondered what he was feeling deep inside. If he was emotional at all, he was hiding it just as he had hidden so many things since his return.

"Home," Oliver finally said. As he looked around the room. Felicity looked at Moira who's eyes glistened as though tears would burst from them at any moment. 

Oliver looked at Felicity as though seeking her approval. She couldn't understand why he seemed to chose her when he was surrounded by so many people who cared for him. Still his eyes probed her features and Felicity stopped the shiver that threatened to take over her body as his ice blue stare fell on her.

How did he manage too make her feel as though he was in her mind?

"Do you want some time alone to investigate your room?" Moira asked. Oliver nodded. Felicity watched the others leave before heading towards the door.

"Felicity," Oliver said his voice desperate. She turned and saw the puzzled expression on his face.

"What's bothering you Oliver?" She asked not moving closer to him in case his personal space was an issue inside his room. She wanted to be respectful and ease him back into his previous life.

"Stay," he said, his hand reaching toward her as though Oliver needed the human connection to calm him. There were bound to be too many emotions for him to process and she was sure his mind was swirling.

Felicity bit her bottom lip, but stepped toward him and took his hand. She should know better, but it was something he needed to get him one step closer to being the Oliver he was before he was taken away. Felicity kept trying to remind herself it was only temporary and he would pull away from her as he felt more comfortable in his environment. She was just the anchor to now, nothing more.

He pulled her over to the large windows that looked over the Queen gardens. It was a breathtaking view with intricate and lush gardens stretching out past her view. Flowers bloomed cheerfully as though their blooms were planned just for Oliver's arrival at home.

"Does it look different?" She asked releasing his hand. Oliver nodded. Communication was going to have to be their first priority as they began his healing process. If Oliver couldn't verbalize his feelings and needs to her, it would be difficult and would cause them both frustration they could avoid.

"Obviously you understand English with no problem," Felicity started. "Are the right words just hard to remember how to say?"

Oliver shrugged as though he didn't want to have this conversation with her. His eyes looked back out towards the gardens as though he was avoiding looking her in the eyes. Felicity narrowed her eyes at him trying to discern what he was hiding.

"Listen to me Oliver," Felicity said using the voice she had when he caused such a problem in the hospital. "If you can speak more then you better start talking."

Oliver's eyes shifted to the floor and back to her. There was a slight flush to his cheeks as he looked back at her She wasn't sure he was used to being talked to the way she had, but Felicity wasn't going to let him slide by so easily.

"I want to keep it quiet," he finally said softly. "It came back pretty easily, but then people would want answers. I'm not ready to give them those kinds of answers yet."

Felicity thought about his words. It made sense in one way, but he shouldn't feel that he needed to hide from his own family and her. He should celebrate his return to the life he was torn from as a child.

"Please respect my wishes on this Felicity," Oliver said turning to face her, eyes begging for her help. Felicity knew it would be so difficult to deny him when his mind was still in such a fragile state. She had no power and those eyes weren't helping either.

"I only ask you trust me," Felicity said. "If this is going to work, you have to be honest. When you are scared, tell me. When you are angry, tell me. I can't help you if I don't know what you are feeling."

"I will always be honest with you Felicity," Oliver said stepping closer to her. She was overwhelmed by the clean scent of him. She couldn't breathe and her heart started thumping in her chest as though it would break through her ribs at any minute. Felicity knew she had to get away before the feelings bubbling inside of her were given a voice.

"I should let you get settled," she said hurriedly stepping away from him to break the spell. Felicity couldn't get to the door quickly enough and fumbled with the knob on the door. 

"Felicity," Oliver's voice called after her, but she didn't dare turn to see him again. Her resolved was too thin to withstand those eyes. She needed space.

When she was finally in her room, she fell face first on the bed and tried to catch her breath. This was dangerous. Oliver was dangerous. 

What was she going to do?


	11. Chapter 11

The peace of Oliver's return home lasted through most of the evening. Oliver retreated to his room after a light dinner where Felicity watched him push the food around his plate as he ate just a few bites. She thought he was worried about being under too much scrutiny, so he did his best to look as though he was engaging in the dinner. 

Felicity settled into her bed shortly after nine, finding a good crime show to watch a she drifted off to sleep. Somewhere in the middle of the show, she was sound asleep. The late night quiet was shattered by shouts from across the hall. Felicity's feet hit the floor and she threw open her door, listening as Oliver's voice grew loud again from behind the closed door.

Despite her instinct, she pushed open the large wooden door and he stood silhouetted against the light from the window. He stood there, but he didn't see her, too lost in the nightmare rushing through his mind. This was not an uncommon occurrence for someone who had lived through trauma, but this was the first time she had experienced it with Oliver.

She approached him, hands showing she was not a threat. She knew not to wake him. As she got closer, Oliver let loose a string of harsh words he spit from his mouth as though they were poison. Felicity flinched and stopped moving trying to will herself to stay calm despite his aggressive posture.

Blue eyes fell on her as though finally realizing he as not alone. Felicity said nothing and Oliver grabbed her wrists, pulling her into a headlock. His words were softer now, but threatening in their timber. She shivered as he contracted her air supply.

Felicity's fingers clawed at his bare arm, trying to gasp for more air. Her vision became fuzzy around the edges. Her brain was trying to keep her vital organs supplied with oxygen, while shutting down systems that weren't essential to her survival.

"Oliver," she managed to squeak out as his muscular arm clenched tighter. When she finally did succumb, because it was inevitable, she feared what he would do and how much he would hate himself after the fact for acting out in his sleep.

As quickly as he clamped her neck, Oliver released her. Felicity fell to the floor, gasping, her hands feeling the bruised flesh of her neck as she tried to catch her breath, the blood rushing through her ears.

"Felicity?" Oliver's voice said, small and scared, from somewhere behind her. All she could do was cough in return as her lungs expanded and gulped in the air she had been deprived of while Oliver was having his nightmare.

"What have I done?" He said in a pained tone. 

"Stop," she whispered trying to make her voice strong to ease his guilt. "I should have stayed outside."

She should have, but at this point, she still didn't know exactly what he was capable of in the sleep state. This was new for all of them, but Felicity had learned her lesson. He could be violent.

"I ... I could have killed you,"Oliver stuttered and Felicity turned to look at him for the first time since the attack. Even in the dim light, she could see the color had drained from his face. There was so much distress displayed on his face that it felt like a knife plunged into her gut. Felicity had to stop his guilt before it took root.

"Oliver," she said rising to step closer to him, but he backed away clearly shaken. He kept his distance, looking at his hands as though her blood were already drenching them.

"This was why I knew I should't come back here," he whispered. "The person I have become doesn't belong around other people in the civilized world."

The words he said in the hospital came rushing back to her. There was so much of his life which was pure survival. She didn't know what he was forced t do in those years, but she could read the look on his face. Oliver believed himself a monster and unable to rescue the little boy he used to be fro being swallowed whole.

"Whoever you were while you ere away, doesn't matter now," Felicity said, her voice calm and reassuring. "All we can hope for is a life without fear and pain, a life you deserve."

Oliver looked at her eyes unblinking as she spoke. She wondered if she was even getting through to him now. Despite how much he trusted her, this could break any resolve he had to commit to getting better. 

"You have no idea how much you should fear me," he growled, a darkness veiling his voice that caused goosebumps to rise on Felicity's arms. She hadn't heard this voice before and it was lethal.

"Is it you or Al sah him talking?" Felicity asked feeling bold despite his darkness. 

"We are one," he said, his voice hard.

Felicity stepped closer to him in the darkness of his room. She trusted he would not strike out at her again, but maybe she was being naive. Oliver could be one of the most dangerous men she ever met, but it didn't stop her from being drawn closer to his bright flame. There was someone to save behind the darkness and she just wanted to reach them.

"You are lying," she said. "I know he protected you, but you don't need that anymore. You are safe."

"But are you?" He asked, his voice ice cold. She shivered.


	12. Chapter 12

Felicity accompanied Oliver to is first meeting with Dr. Lance. Lance was a renowned psychiatrist who specialized in trauma and post traumatic stress disorder. As expected, Oliver said little before the appointment, even shutting Felicity out that morning as she tried to cheer him. His look was dower, even now.

Oliver threw her sideways glances in the back of the town car as they traveled to the appointment. He had expressive eyes and right now they were shooting daggers in her direction. He wasn't the first patient that hated her and Felicity was sure this wouldn't be the last time she was on his shit list.

Arriving at Dr. Lance's office, Felicity could feel the tension rising in Oliver. He sat straighter and fidgeted more, his fingers constantly rubbing together as though searching for something familiar. It made her wonder what he had done while he was away and why he was missing it so frequently when he was agitated.. 

"You ready?" Felicity asked as she put her hand on the door handle and prepared to open it. 

It was a curt nod from Oliver which conveyed everything he felt about this appointment and more. He was still holding back on speaking too often in public, not wanting to let his mother's bodyguards in on the fact that he could speak. She respected his wishes, but hoped he would have said just a little more before the appointment. 

The door opened and they were met with a large group of cameras, everyone vying to get a picture of Oliver as he entered the building. The paparazzi had finally caught up to the fact that Oliver was back and were now trailing him wherever he went. Oliver wrapped himself protectively around Felicity and Roy helped them push through the crowd of vultures just trying to get a piece of the Queen family.

Once inside, Felicity caught her breath and looked at Oliver. His expression was grim, eyes on fire as though he could pounce at any minute. She wanted to soothe him, but kept her distance knowing just how lethal he could be in a situation where he felt trapped. Space was what he needed and he would get it.

"Welcome to the real curse of the Queen family," Roy said, a small chuckle punctuating his words. 

"Could be worse," Felicity shrugged trying to lighten the moment. Oliver looked at her as though she had sprouted another head, but she tried to pretend she didn't notice.

"This way," the bodyguard said leading them towards the elevator and holding the door for them. The ride to the third floor was short, but quiet. Oliver stared straight ahead as the floors ticked by and Felicity could feel the anxiety rising inside of him. He clinched his fists at his side as though preparing for battle. 

There was nothing he could do to stop what was happening. The treatment was non-negotiable for Oliver and Felicity sensed his uneasiness because he always seemed to be in control. This was something he couldn't control and it rubbed him the wrong way. That feeling of control was something he was going to have to work on and Dr. Lance seemed the best candidate to help him. 

The bell dinged indicating they had reached Dr. Lance's floor. Oliver let out a sigh and Felicity couldn't help but put a hand on his arm, hoping to calm his fears. His blue eyes shot to her, piercing right through her and she felt his muscles relax under her hand. Inside his eyes she saw some softening. Somewhere in there was a scared child who had been forced to deal with hard decisions. He was still there just waiting for someone to come and rescue him.

"Good morning," a professional looking young woman greeted them. "Oliver?"

"Yes," he said stepping towards her as though he was accepting a fate he never believed would come to him. As though this was a dream and he was just playing along to see where it went. Felicity shook her head, trying to keep from rolling her eyes. He was too serious and put too much emphasis on the fact that people thought he was sick. She knew he just needed help, nothing more.

"Right this way," the woman said gesturing for Oliver to follow her further into the office. He turned, eyes looking for reassurance from Felicity. She smiled and without another word, Oliver disappeared into the office space behind. 

Felicity found a seat near the window, looking out over Starling City. She passed the time watching people coming and going from their jobs and errands. The office was eerily quiet except for the tapping of the computer the young woman was using at her desk. 

The phone in Felicity's pocket vibrated . She pulled it out no smiled at the name on the screen. Sara was still being incorrigible about Oliver. 

S:How is the hottie?  
F:Stop  
S:I can't have you seen him?

Felicity shook her head and put the phone away. Sara already had them married and Felicity knew it was just a job. It had to stay just a job, no matter how she felt when his eyes pierced her soul. Just a job, nothing more.

"Miss Smoak," the woman at the desk called to her. She ushered her back further into the office. It was a small room, couches set up on either side and it felt relaxed compared to the waiting area.

"I've prescribed some medications," Dr. Lance said addressing Felicity. "Oliver should be getting more restful sleep once he begins them."

Felicity nodded in understanding and didn't miss Oliver clenching his jaw as Dr. Lance mentioned sleeping.

"I've written the medication plan out for you to follow," Lance said handing Felicity a piece of paper with rather detailed instructions. Good thing she had worked for several different doctors or she would have never been able to read the scribbles that Lance passed for handwriting. 

"I'll see Oliver again on Friday and see how things are working. We may need to make some adjustments depending on how groggy he is in the mornings. If you will please keep a detailed list of symptoms for me, that will help," Lance said. 

"I will make sure to note anything that seems unusual," Felicity said checking over the directions to make sure she didn't have questions about dosage. 

"Hopefully Oliver will be a little more willing to talk by Friday," Lance said and Felicity saw Oliver grimace and then his face returned to stoic. It was only a split second, but it was a something Oliver was good at doing. He didn't like to show others how he felt because he perceived it would make him vulnerable. That was not something he ever wanted to show.

Felicity feared the moment all that control would break and he would be forced to let go. What would it do to him and those around him?

Oliver stood and nodded to Lance as though he was done and needed to get out of the room.

"Don't forget to journal this week. Get your feelings down and we can talk about them on Friday," Lance said to Oliver. It was all too much and Oliver pushed past Felicity towards the waiting room. She sighed knowing the next few days would be a struggle.


End file.
